My husband and I have been married for just over a year. In the last year we've had some of the highest highs, and reached some of the lowest lows. We've had some blessings come right when we needed them the most. But we've experienced the loss of two pregnancies. And now, we thought we were pregnant again, to yet again have it yanked away from us before we could have it confirmed.
I'll admit I've had moments wondering if I just can't do the most basic functions a women is supposed to do. Having had never had a pregnancy go past the eleventh week, but the baby actually not go past the six week mark; makes me wonder if there is ever a chance that my body isn't meant to carry a pregnancy even past the first trimester. But then I remember that early miscarriage isn't uncommon; and I hate to say it, I'm actually waiting to have a third official miscarriage so I can be considered high risk and find out what's going on.
There are plenty of women who have had more miscarriages then I have, and I certainly am not an expert in loss. But I feel like writing is one way I can share my journey and have some self therapy. Writing is usually more my husbands forte, and hand on crafts and DYI is more my thing. That being said I can write, and yes sometimes it's the easiest way to deal with feelings.
Not that I'm going to share every detail of my life and journey on here. But things pertaining to being a Step-Mom and hopefully one day a Mommy I will. (I do have two Step-Kids, T who is 17 and S who is 12). There are plenty of more joys in our lives then there are sorrows. And if it comes down to it and we aren't blessed with one of our own, we do have T and S.
If it's meant to be it will be. And if not I'm sure God has bigger purpose for my life that I haven't discovered yet.
