Shhhh Ma is counting

So, I was thinking how closely related knitting and parenthood are today. On the surface you may be thinking I'm crazy, but stick with me.

The basic. In parenthood you need to have the knowledge of your kids (or my case step-kids), basic needs. We need to make sure they don't starve, don't become dehydrated, have a roof over their heads, clothing on their body (this may be a battle of varying degrees dependent on age), an education, and anything else you and your husband deem as an essential to life. In knitting it's gauge (who wants to finish a sweater that could fit two of you in there), how to do the most basic of stitches (insert the knit 2, purl 2 jokes here), and how to cast off.

So on the basic levels it's not all that similar, but stick with me.

Both require a person to sometimes stick to a pattern, and other times be creative. Sometimes are plans go perfectly, and other times we have to think on our feet. I'll admit I would much rather stick to a written out pattern when knitting, but sometimes my yarn or needles just do not want to play along. So I have to make a choice, stick with the pattern as written, and be unhappy with the results; or do I make some modifications that may or may not turn out the way I hoped. With the kids, and I'll use school work as an example, we have to get creative with the way each one of them deals with it. T recently has made a major turn around and is really applying herself to her school work. S on the other hand, I think it would be easier to just say I give up.  But that's not being fair to him or to us. So time to be creative. Yes, this is a new level of expectations for him this year, but in teaching him new time management techniques, and showing him that not taking responsibility for his actions results in loss of fun activities he wanted to do. (For example, the wrestling team. But he has been able to keep choir, jazz band, community service club, and most important to me, youth group). If we had just kept the pattern going with him, I'm not so sure I'd have any sanity left.

Love and patience. I love T and S, as any mother would. But as every mother in history has also felt there are times when my patience is worn thread bare. Every stitch I knit I knit with love. There are times when the stitches try my patience as well, and then it's off to tink, or to the frog pond. Kids can just go back and physically redo what has been done, but as parents we can sit down with them and find out what caused the behavior and talk to them about how they can change it.

And last but not least, relaxation. I knit to relax, plain and simple. If I've gone days upon days without knitting, I can feel my body starting to build up stress. And it all goes downhill from there, if I'm stressed my J (my husband) feels it and so do T and S. Believe it or not, I find being a step-parent sometimes can be just a relaxing. I've found new joy in things I used to do, seeing it through my kids eyes. The laughter of kids (even if they are a preteen and a teenager), is one of the most joyous sounds around. Sometimes the best memories can be taking a walk and just listening to the kids.

Before I started this journey I would have never guessed that what I've learned over the years from knitting I would be applying to my parenthood style.